Interveiw With A Crossdresser
by Nuriko.Net
Summary: Nuriko, Tamahome and Chichiri end up on 'The Host Show' starring Host. Lots of crazy stuff goes down while Host asks the cast wild questions. R&R!


Interveiw with a Crossdresser  
  
(I decided maybe to take what happened in a chat session with my good friend 'Tamahome' to see what I could come up with. It just so happens it could turn out to be pretty dag-on funny. Here it is! By the way, 'Host' is just my friend, who LOVES Nuriko to death. The poor girl watches him in sadness on the TV screen wishing he would just be a MAN.))  
  
Host: Hello! ^^ Today on the 'Host' show we have a few surprising guests that may surprise you!  
  
((Some theme music plays, and it cuts back to 'Host' sitting in a chair looking at you. That's right, you, the audience.))  
  
Host: Hey! On today's show we have some surprising guests. Let's bring out my first two guests! Nuriko and Tamahome!!  
  
((Nuriko and Tamahome walk out on stage. Nuriko is happy and waving at the audience. Tamahome looks like someone shoved a stick in his rear.))  
  
Host: Have a seat, have a seat. It's good to have you both here.  
  
Nuriko: Good to be here, host! ^^  
  
Tamahome: ((Grumble.))  
  
Host: What was that, Tamahome?  
  
Tamahome: ((Grumble.))  
  
Host: Huh? Whatever. So, my first question for you two.. Tamahome, how did you feel when you found out you'd been kissed by a man?  
  
Tamahome: SHUTUPP!!  
  
Nuriko: ((Was distracted by one of his fans, and looks to Host.)) What's he yellin' about?  
  
Host: Being kissed by you, of course, you manly man you! ^^  
  
Nuriko: O.O?!?! WHY I OUGTTA!!  
  
Tamahome: ((Grumble.))  
  
Host: Eeeep. O.O;  
  
Nuriko: ((He stands, and holds his chair up over his head.)) I should smash this into your skull right about now!!  
  
Host: Please don't please don't please don't please don't! ^^;;;  
  
Nuriko: Oh, alright. ::Sits down.::  
  
Host: So, ah, my next question is, ah Nuriko, why don't you give up being a crossdresser, forget that Hotohori ever exsisted, and swing by my place around 7? ^^;;;;  
  
Nuriko: o.o;; I... WHAT?! / WHAT WAS THAT?!?!  
  
Host: ((She sneezes.)) Nothing. NEXT QUESTION! Tamahome, why are you in love with that dumb-dumb-stupid-head-bad-looking-crappy-hairdoed-ugly- looking-uniform-wearing-retarded-dragon-lady-faced-baka Miaka?  
  
Tamahome: Eh?  
  
Host: Just answer the question, don't worry about my nickname for Miaka.  
  
Tamahome: Uh, right. Well, you can't really say who you want to fall in love with, it just happens... blah blah blah ((Blabbering on.))  
  
Host: ((Reaches over and clings to Nuriko.)) ^^ Heeey.  
  
Nuriko: O.O!! Get off me!! ((Wriggles his arm trying to get free.))  
  
Host: ^.~ Don't give me that, my love. We're waaay past that. ((Snuggle.))  
  
Nuriko: Would you please let my arm gooo? ((Tugs his arm, but is still unable to be released.))  
  
Host: I love you, Nuriko!! ((Snuggle 'smore.))  
  
Nuriko: ((Grabs a pry bar and tries to pry Host off his arm.))  
  
Tamahome: ...blah blah blah and that's why the sky is blue. ((Looks to Host.)) Hey, were you listening?  
  
Host: Sure was! ^^ You love Miaka because she casted an evil spell on you!! ^^;;  
  
Tamahome: Uh, no. Hey...!! You weren't listening at all!! /!!  
  
Host: I was too. I was listening.. and.. talking at the same.. time...  
  
Nuriko: Pleaase let goooo.. @.@;; ::  
  
Host: Nuriko! ((She tackles him. While she is snuggling up to Nuriko, sitting on his lap, etc, she looks over to Tamahome and asks him her next question.)) So, why would you protect skizzy-faced Miaka, anyway?  
  
Tamahome: Well, she's the Priestess of Suzaku, for one. I'm supposed to protect her.. And because I... WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!  
  
Host: ((Has Nuriko half undressed.)) Searching for Nuriko's mark. ^^;;;;;;;;;;  
  
Tamahome: ((Points.)) It's right there.  
  
Host: NOT THAT MARK!! o.o;;!! His... mark.  
  
Nuriko: @.@; Someone please get this crazy kid away from meee..  
  
Tamahome: I would, but I'm enjoying your torture, really.  
  
Nuriko: TAMAHOME!!  
  
Tamahome: ^^;; ::Vanishes.::  
  
Host: Drats. Tama-chan left. Well, Nuriko, looks like we'll bring out my next guest!!  
  
Nuriko: Can I leave?  
  
Host: No. Let's bring out the wonderful... CHICHIRI!!  
  
Chichiri: ((Walks out on stage.)) Hello! I am Chichiri, no da!!  
  
Host: We knew that already, Chichiri.. Anyway, sit down. ^^;;  
  
Nuriko: ((Tries to get away from Host.))  
  
Host: ((Has a tighter grip than Nuriko expects.)) ^^ My first question for you, Chichiri, is, why did you train with the ugly hag Tai-Yi-Jun for so long?  
  
Chichiri: Well, I don't really have an answer to that question, no da. But I do have a question for you, if I may, no da?  
  
Host: Ask away!! ((Huggling Nuriko, who's getting close to surrender.))  
  
Chichiri: Why are you hugging on Nuriko like that, no da?  
  
Host: BECAUSE I AM IN LOVE!!  
  
Chichiri: Love?  
  
Host: LOVE!!  
  
Nuriko: .;; Love.  
  
Host: Right! ^^ ((Huggles Nuriko 'smore.))  
  
!!!!! WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM TO BRING YOU AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE!!!!!  
  
Chef Boyardee's hat got caught in a meat grinder, thus leading up to a headless Chef Boyardee.  
  
The world is in shambles.  
  
This just in!!  
  
I'm cheating on my husband. With Mitsukake.  
  
!!!!! Back to the show!! !!!!!  
  
Host: We're back, and I'm still in love with Nuriko!  
  
Chichiri: No da.  
  
Nuriko: ((Pretends he's not there.))  
  
Host: Nuriko-cha', wake up and smell the roses.  
  
Nuriko: Roses? What roses?  
  
Host: Uh.. Hold on. ((Suddenly adapts the power up super speed and goes to the florist.))  
  
Nuriko: Good! She's gone! Now's my chance to sneak away! ((Hops up and tries to sneak offstage.))  
  
Host: ((Flys back in and lands on Nuriko's stomach.)) Goin' somewhere?  
  
Nuriko: The potty?  
  
Host: Can I go?  
  
Nuriko: NOOOOO!!  
  
Host: Then neither can you! ((Drags him back to his chair.))  
  
Nuriko: ;.; ... This is like going to hell in a handbasket..  
  
Host: ((Set's Nuriko down in his chair and sits on his lap.)) So, Chichiri, what's up with you hat that helps you vanish, and where can I get one?  
  
Chichiri: You mean this? ((Holds up his hat.))  
  
Host: Yep. I mean that.  
  
Chichiri: Well, it's an enchanted hat that gives me the power to disapear, no da.  
  
Nuriko: HEY!! Chichiri, pass me that hat!  
  
Chichiri: No.  
  
Host: Nuriko, will you quit squirming?!  
  
Nuriko: But I gotta goooo!! ((He was doing somewhat of a pee-pee dance.))  
  
Host: Oh, alright! That's it for the show today, everyone! ^^ We have to go now, because Nuriko has to pee! Byyyyyyye!! 


End file.
